The bridge over the Missouri River is an unsuspected portal between two completely different worlds. I have always lived on the south side and for the last year, I've crossed over on a daily basis to go to work in Liberty. It's a sleepier version of Lee's Summit; lacking the energies of being the burial ground for historical outlaws, and the setting for a few Phillip K Dick stories.
However, there's something about this place I just don't understand. Why are people north of the river so angry? There's an obnoxiously negative vibe coming from just about everyone in that redneck of the woods: NKC, Liberty, Excelsior, Lathrop, Smithville, Kearney...ok if it's the area then MOVE!
The biggest laugh is people getting all snooty over Zona Rosa. Really??? Been there. It's basically the Independence Center with a sidewalk and the option for underground parking. Whoopee frickin' Ding! Ever been downtown? You know, the Plaza, Westport, unique businesses offering cultural variety...but wait; those people would NEVER venture south of the river. They might turn into a pumpkin, or WORSE yet- experience diversity!
Seriously, before I can even greet a customer an aura of hatred fills the building as the door is opened. You would think I was working the DMV instead of selling simple little electronics.
And I'm GUESSING those SUVs and double decker double wide 3 story diesel duellies DON'T come with turn signals?!?!? I guess I'll never know, NOBODY ever uses them!
And what's HILARIOUS is these people have this COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED NARCISSISM like they ACTUALLY HAVE MONEY!! HA! They certainly don't spend it. What a bunch of white trash cheap asses, wasting an hour of my time getting REAL knowledge on items and then going to WAL-MART to get a crappier quality for 2 bucks cheaper just to come back 3 months later telling me the Wal-Mart version stopped working. No Shit Sherlock!!
And the real kicker, people at the gym. I'm an Anytime Fitness member. I usually go to the Lee's Summit one where I'm enrolled. It's so welcoming. People actually smile and say "Hi". Whoa, weird huh? However, when I'm short on time I just gotta go to the one in Liberty. Fine with me, at first, because they have a little more of a variety as far as equipment; but there's OBVIOUSLY TOO MANY DAMN PEOPLE ON STEROIDS! Man, whenever these roided out douche bags see a girl lifting weights their vibe screams INSECURITY! And they're all completely homo-phobic military pinheads. Homophobia-what a wasted emotion.
I've got the source narrowed down, DRUGS. From the apparent use of pills, steroids, METH (oh, that's a BIGGIE and too obviously), pot (half the people smell like a Cypress Hill concert), and Crack (I've actually seen a crackpipe fall out of a customers purse).
So there you have it. The ever oxy-moronical display of feeling superior yet your life actually sucks horribly because you're an insufferable excuse of a person can be blamed simply on being a junkie. Somewhere over the river...people smoke crack.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
I'd Rather Be With An Animal
Animals are Superior Beings.
Today, my husband and I were on our way to eat lunch when a little black Pekinese came running over. We searched the parking lot for anyone looking for a dog but didn't find the elusive owner. I found a heart shaped tag on the little guy reading Sargent Pepper, with a phone number. The man on the other end seemed really nice and concerned about his dog but was at work so he couldn't meet us, nor could his wife as she was a shut-in with two kids. So I offered to take the dog to the house. He thanked me several times and we were on our way. After quite a long walk (since we figured it was just a block away, not 6 blocks) the woman who greeted us was a total bitch who was capable of nothing other than squeezing out mouths to feed in order to trap her husband into a lifelong horror with that insufferable harpy. She suggested we should have dropped the dog in a trash can. Glad to know we saved the dog from running into traffic so he could go home to such a warm and loving environment. My hubby said the poor thing was probably on a suicide mission. I hope the man I spoke with was the dogs main owner. He did growl when I picked him up, but didn't growl when Timmy did. I wish we had taken him home with us.
But that had me stirred all day. How can anyone prefer the company of the unfoundingly narcissistic, backstabbing, self-indulgent and destructive, asshole species of humans? To be fair, not all people are like that, but mostly in the mid-west; OK mostly in Lee's Summit.
Here's my kudos to the animal kingdom.
Animals will not judge you, ask you for favors that they wouldn't return, use the last of the toilet paper and neglect to tell you, make fun of your hair color or bad cut because I sneezed while holding the scissors, accuse you of things you didn't do, cry if you forget their birthday, give you shit for not living up to your potential, bitch at you for procrastinating laundry day, call you into work on your day off, gripe at you for smelling up the bathroom after eating lentils and spinach because you switched to vegetarian, charge you late fees, sue you for any reason, blame you for getting bad directions and driving smack dab in the sleaziest ghetto after dark, lie to you, scam you, hit you, key your car, steal your stuff for crack money, come home drunk, call you names, or drink the last Coca Cola (they can't open the fridge very well without thumbs; that last line is not for people with pet monkeys or anything with tentacles).
The best part is- NO BULLSHIT! NO DRAMA! If I piss off someone, whether I meant to or not, I usually get the wussy runaround of finding out. This person will be nice to my face and bitch about me behind my back accumulating days or even weeks of rumors, underground retaliation, and me wondering "What the hell is going on?!?" Learn from the animals. If I piss you off, let me know to my face that instant! It can be fixed. I can make my cat mad. It isn't intentional, but for example; I scoot her off the bookcase, turn off the space heater, or skip a day on the litter change. Her answer is simply pee on my bed, if the door is closed she'll pee on my purse. Annoying as it is, it speaks her message very clearly. No question, no drama, no bullshit. She's pissed and I know it. I fix the problem, she nuzzles me. It's all good.
If you ask my husband and I if we have kids, we'll say "Yes! Fourteen of them. One dog, three cats, a bunny, two guinea pigs, two pink kissers, one beta, three mollies, and our algae-eater." We love them as though we spawned them ourselves. If you are blessed enough to have a critter your own, keep in mind they love you regardless of all of your faults (and you DO have them). Treat them the same. Namaste!
Today, my husband and I were on our way to eat lunch when a little black Pekinese came running over. We searched the parking lot for anyone looking for a dog but didn't find the elusive owner. I found a heart shaped tag on the little guy reading Sargent Pepper, with a phone number. The man on the other end seemed really nice and concerned about his dog but was at work so he couldn't meet us, nor could his wife as she was a shut-in with two kids. So I offered to take the dog to the house. He thanked me several times and we were on our way. After quite a long walk (since we figured it was just a block away, not 6 blocks) the woman who greeted us was a total bitch who was capable of nothing other than squeezing out mouths to feed in order to trap her husband into a lifelong horror with that insufferable harpy. She suggested we should have dropped the dog in a trash can. Glad to know we saved the dog from running into traffic so he could go home to such a warm and loving environment. My hubby said the poor thing was probably on a suicide mission. I hope the man I spoke with was the dogs main owner. He did growl when I picked him up, but didn't growl when Timmy did. I wish we had taken him home with us.
But that had me stirred all day. How can anyone prefer the company of the unfoundingly narcissistic, backstabbing, self-indulgent and destructive, asshole species of humans? To be fair, not all people are like that, but mostly in the mid-west; OK mostly in Lee's Summit.
Here's my kudos to the animal kingdom.
Animals will not judge you, ask you for favors that they wouldn't return, use the last of the toilet paper and neglect to tell you, make fun of your hair color or bad cut because I sneezed while holding the scissors, accuse you of things you didn't do, cry if you forget their birthday, give you shit for not living up to your potential, bitch at you for procrastinating laundry day, call you into work on your day off, gripe at you for smelling up the bathroom after eating lentils and spinach because you switched to vegetarian, charge you late fees, sue you for any reason, blame you for getting bad directions and driving smack dab in the sleaziest ghetto after dark, lie to you, scam you, hit you, key your car, steal your stuff for crack money, come home drunk, call you names, or drink the last Coca Cola (they can't open the fridge very well without thumbs; that last line is not for people with pet monkeys or anything with tentacles).
The best part is- NO BULLSHIT! NO DRAMA! If I piss off someone, whether I meant to or not, I usually get the wussy runaround of finding out. This person will be nice to my face and bitch about me behind my back accumulating days or even weeks of rumors, underground retaliation, and me wondering "What the hell is going on?!?" Learn from the animals. If I piss you off, let me know to my face that instant! It can be fixed. I can make my cat mad. It isn't intentional, but for example; I scoot her off the bookcase, turn off the space heater, or skip a day on the litter change. Her answer is simply pee on my bed, if the door is closed she'll pee on my purse. Annoying as it is, it speaks her message very clearly. No question, no drama, no bullshit. She's pissed and I know it. I fix the problem, she nuzzles me. It's all good.
If you ask my husband and I if we have kids, we'll say "Yes! Fourteen of them. One dog, three cats, a bunny, two guinea pigs, two pink kissers, one beta, three mollies, and our algae-eater." We love them as though we spawned them ourselves. If you are blessed enough to have a critter your own, keep in mind they love you regardless of all of your faults (and you DO have them). Treat them the same. Namaste!
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