Somewhere Over the River

The bridge over the Missouri River is an unsuspected portal between two completely different worlds. I have always lived on the south side and for the last year, I've crossed over on a daily basis to go to work in Liberty. It's a sleepier version of Lee's Summit; lacking the energies of being the burial ground for historical outlaws, and the setting for a few Phillip K Dick stories.
However, there's something about this place I just don't understand. Why are people north of the river so angry? There's an obnoxiously negative vibe coming from just about everyone in that redneck of the woods: NKC, Liberty, Excelsior, Lathrop, Smithville, Kearney...ok if it's the area then MOVE!
The biggest laugh is people getting all snooty over Zona Rosa. Really??? Been there. It's basically the Independence Center with a sidewalk and the option for underground parking. Whoopee frickin' Ding! Ever been downtown? You know, the Plaza, Westport, unique businesses offering cultural variety...but wait; those people would NEVER venture south of the river. They might turn into a pumpkin, or WORSE yet- experience diversity!
Seriously, before I can even greet a customer an aura of hatred fills the building as the door is opened. You would think I was working the DMV instead of selling simple little electronics.
And I'm GUESSING those SUVs and double decker double wide 3 story diesel duellies DON'T come with turn signals?!?!? I guess I'll never know, NOBODY ever uses them!
And what's HILARIOUS is these people have this COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED NARCISSISM like they ACTUALLY HAVE MONEY!! HA! They certainly don't spend it. What a bunch of white trash cheap asses, wasting an hour of my time getting REAL knowledge on items and then going to WAL-MART to get a crappier quality for 2 bucks cheaper just to come back 3 months later telling me the Wal-Mart version stopped working. No Shit Sherlock!!
And the real kicker, people at the gym. I'm an Anytime Fitness member. I usually go to the Lee's Summit one where I'm enrolled. It's so welcoming. People actually smile and say "Hi". Whoa, weird huh? However, when I'm short on time I just gotta go to the one in Liberty. Fine with me, at first, because they have a little more of a variety as far as equipment; but there's OBVIOUSLY TOO MANY DAMN PEOPLE ON STEROIDS! Man, whenever these roided out douche bags see a girl lifting weights their vibe screams INSECURITY! And they're all completely homo-phobic military pinheads. Homophobia-what a wasted emotion.

I've got the source narrowed down, DRUGS. From the apparent use of pills, steroids, METH (oh, that's a BIGGIE and too obviously), pot (half the people smell like a Cypress Hill concert), and Crack (I've actually seen a crackpipe fall out of a customers purse).

So there you have it. The ever oxy-moronical display of feeling superior yet your life actually sucks horribly because you're an insufferable excuse of a person can be blamed simply on being a junkie. Somewhere over the river...people smoke crack.